‘Butterflies’ are often a term used to describe the physical sensation we feel in our stomachs when we are nervous. However, this sensation can also be associated with the feeling of excitement. And the return to school is often a time when lots of different thoughts and feelings are experienced, including both nervousness and excitement!
Many kids look forward to seeing their friends again after the summer break, yet feel nervous about who their teacher will be, who will be in their class, and how much homework they will receive. It’s easy to focus on the negatives about a particular experience, and it often takes intentionality to focus on the less obvious positives.
And let’s not forget about parents’ thoughts and feelings about the return to school. This time of year often means the return to stricter and busier schedules, routines, and expectations which can be a change for everyone in the family.
Here are some tips to navigate the back to school butterflies:
- Notice the way that you engage your child in conversation about the return to school – does it convey excitement, dread, optimism, nervousness, or a combination of all of these emotions? Remember, kids follow their parents’ lead with respect to interpreting situations and coping with them.
- Support your child to look for the positives with respect to their school experiences as a whole (e.g., recess time, seeing their friends, gym class, learning a new language).
Acknowledge the hard parts about going back to school (e.g., homework, tests, meeting new people, getting up early). - Reinforce your child’s (and your) ability to cope with challenges by highlighting past difficult situations they were able to get through (e.g., how did adjusting to school last year go, were they able to try a new camp this summer, what happened when they tried a new extracurricular activity or going to play at a new park?).
- Provide an opportunity to visit their school (even just from the outside) in advance of the first day, giving them the chance to refamiliarize themselves with the ‘feeling’ of being at school.
- Plan something special to look forward to at the end of the first day or at the end of the week.
- Allow your child to pick a special snack to have during their first day (and maybe one for the end of the day too!).
- Reflect on what helps you, as the parent, to get through hard days at work and share these reflections with your child.
- Normalize the experience of the ‘butterflies’, reminding your child that everyone, including parents and teachers, are feeling the same nervousness AND excitement on the first day of school.
If the back-to-school adjustment is more difficult and/or lasting much longer than usual, seeking support from a psychologist or therapist can help. We are here to support you and your family.
